After an incredibly productive morning working from home yesterday (the world, upon awakening, was a sheet of ice here in the D.C. region after 18 hours of sleet and freezing rain), I ventured out mid-day for a brisk walk in the strong sun, rapidly melting sidewalks, and relatively mild temperatures (low 40s). Plugged into one of my favorite podcasts, On Being, I listened to the unedited interview with Brene Brown, broadcast a few weeks ago. Brown is a research professor and writer, most recently focusing on the gifts inherent in vulnerability and imperfection. As usual, I was feeling validated and slightly superior because of the prodigious, high quality work product I consistently churn out (in the morning's case, I had just finalized a lengthy, sensitive, and particularly thorny report with the potential to dilute a politically motivated imbroglio). The Brown interview, then, really pulled me up short. Speaking about herself, first, Brown proceeded to characterize as self-righteousness the following attributes: perfectionism, judgment, exhaustion as a status symbol, and productivity as self-worth. Moreover, she pointed out that these attributes do not induce creativity. What? But I'm zen. I practice yoga. I meditate. I create art. I have had years of therapy. And, more importantly, I am a competent person who makes things happen in the world. But the more I listened, the more I realized I was guilty as charged. Interesting stuff that rocked my world a bit yesterday. I am not particularly in the mood for it after such a dark and dreary winter, but I guess it's back down into the underworld for me, to process this new insight.
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